No one runs a business in a vacuum. Everyone business owner has demands on their time beyond those of running their company. Sometimes those demands are the ordinary ones of living in today’s world. At other times, as in the case of Dan Marx and Elise Carr of PRINTING United Alliance, (guests on the August episode of the Threads of Change podcast), the demands are a bit more extreme.

Anyone in the working world who is also caring for a person with special needs, or caretaking for elderly parents, or even dealing with an illness or chronic condition of their own, knows that the demands can be overwhelming and balance can be hard to achieve.

One of the things any person trying to juggle work and demanding outside responsibilities can use is help, but knowing how to help and when to help isn’t always easy. Sometimes those who are trying to help can simply be another thing that the overwhelmed person needs to manage. So, if you want to help, but don’t want to add to an already full plate, here are some tips for ways to offer assistance that won’t increase an already strenuous workload.

Quick Tips to Support Caregivers

First of all, ask how you can help. You’re not living the life that your friend or colleague is, and you don’t know what they need or what would be most helpful. The simplest way to find out is to ask.

Make a list of things you know you can do (if you know your time is limited), and ask if any of those things would help. Or, alternatively, if your schedule is more flexible, simply ask what would be the most helpful and do that. Don’t assume; don’t jump in and potentially make an already complicated situation more complicated, just ask and act on the answer you’re given.

Second, be there for your friends and colleagues who are working and managing demanding outside responsibilities. Caretaking for an elderly family member or a child with special needs requires a lot of decision making and certainly brings a lot of stress. Sometimes the best way to be of assistance is simply to listen without judgment and be a safe place for venting and releasing feelings.

Being a neutral space where there is no worry about being judged or about saying something that will be taken the wrong way can be a safety valve for a person who may really need it.

Third, offer time away. One thing that parents of special needs children, or those caring for elders with memory issues, often comment on is the difficulty of getting outside care. Either potential caretakers are concerned about managing a complicated schedule, keeping the person cared for safe, or just may be uncomfortable taking charge of a situation with which they are not familiar.

This option may not be for everyone, but for those who are up for it, spend some time with the caretaker and his or her charge, learn the routine, and initially try managing things while the primary caretaker is there and can step in. If that goes well, take charge by yourself. This frees the primary caretaker to have an afternoon or even a weekend to themselves, which can be invaluable time to rest and recharge.

Fourth, separate the caretaker from that role. A lot of caretakers may feel as though their sole identity is as a caretaker. Most of their conversations and interactions may have to do with providing care, and it’s easy to lose the rest of one’s identity in that role.

To ensure that doesn’t happen, make an effort to have conversations and interactions that don’t center around caretaking and the required duties. Talk about their business, current events, movies, whatever is interesting and engaging but doesn’t add to what might be an already high stress level.

Fifth, remind caretakers they need to take care of themselves. When caring for someone who has special needs, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that everyone has needs. Make sure that the caregiver in your life has access to support groups, even if online, or therapy if necessary. Encourage the pursuit of hobbies when time permits. Offer support through running errands or staying with the person being cared for to free up the primary caregiver to pursue other interests or simply take a little time to rest and relax. Self-care is not selfish, it’s vital, and every needs to practice it.

Practicing Personal and Professional Patience

Finally, remember that caregiving comes with its own set of demands, and that means that schedules and priorities won’t always align. Be flexible when caregivers show up late or have to leave early. Understand when free time is precious and has to be parceled out carefully. Be flexible when making plans and understanding when things don’t go as planned.

Caregiving can be an isolating experience, so make sure an effort is made to keep the caregiver included, even if they can’t attend an event or have to leave unexpectedly. Working to keep in touch can help ease isolation and show support and understanding of the demands of the caregiving role.