Being authentic isn’t always easy. Sometimes we may not, rightly or wrongly, like who we are, or think who we are is good enough. We try to take on trails or opinions or ways of being we think make us better.

Other times, we may be one of a few people of our race, gender, or belief system in a particular room. In those cases, the temptation may be to adapt to whatever the accepted norms are. Sometimes it’s just easier to be like others than it is to be your authentic self.

Authenticity in Leadership

In any situation, being less than authentic to yourself, having to monitor every action and reaction, and watch everything you say can be stressful and detrimental to mental and physical health. Authenticity is defined differently from person to person, but a basic definition is being true to oneself, freely and unapologetically. Being authentic is about removing the layers of expectations put on us externally and internally based on a variety of influences. It’s when a person’s beliefs, values, and actions align, and an individual acts in accordance with their deepest values and beliefs.

One area in which authenticity can beneficial is that of leadership. Authentic leadership is defined by the Center for Creative Leadership as “the healthy alignment between a leader’s internal values and beliefs and their external behavior.” The Center also gives four characteristics of an authentic leader, which are:

1. Authentic leaders are self-aware – If a leader is clear about their values, priorities, and preferences, they’re better able to understand themselves and their relationships to others.
2. Authentic leaders are genuine, modest, and humble – An authentic leader doesn’t always need to be recognized or praised. They share the spotlight with, or focus the spotlight on, others.
3. Authentic leaders and empathetic and ethical – These qualities allow decision making that has integrity. Leaders with these strengths are also better able to support their teams, build trust, and commit to doing the right things.
4. Authentic leaders can focus on results – An authentic leader doesn’t waste time monitoring their own behavior. They can focus on the future and energize others by sharing their vision.

Becoming your authentic self, as a leader or simply as a person, isn’t always easy. The business world doesn’t always encourage authenticity, particularly if you’re someone who historically hasn’t been seen in that world. The cultures we operate in can place pressure on us to behave in certain ways and to believe certain things. Families and friend groups can discourage certain behaviors or opinions.

We all face pressure to conform to a vision of ourselves that might be less than authentic, in the name of getting ahead or fitting in, or simply because it seems easier. If you’ve been struggling with figuring out who your authentic self is and how to express that self, here are some tips:

• Keep a Journal – It doesn’t have to be pages and pages every day, but try and carve out a little time to note what’s happening in your world on a daily basis. This gives you a record of what you were feeling, what was going well, what was causing stress or anxiety, and how you’re progressing toward your goals. Over time, as you continue to journal, you’ll start to see patterns that could point toward more authentic ways to live.
• Surround yourself with people who understand, and like, the genuine you – The advice a lot of business coaches give is to surround yourself with people who are achieving at the level you want to reach. This is a version of that. Surround yourself with people who accept you as you are, and who also work to be their authentic selves.
• Cut your fears down to size – Being authentic can feel risky and scary, but it helps if you look at what you fear realistically. Yes, people might not like or accept your authentic self, but if they can’t accept that person, are they people you want to be around? Being authentic might lose you a promotion or a job or a relationship, true, but is the pain of having to act in a way that contradicts your values, ethics, and beliefs worth that promotion, job, or relationship? If you look at your fears through this lens, you’ll often see that the reward is worth the risk.
• Keep working toward your goal of becoming more authentic – Unlearning behavior patterns and beliefs you may have carried around for decades is a process. It’s not something that happens overnight. Take actions every day that will lead to being more authentic. Be patient with yourself as you work to shed beliefs and/or behaviors that don’t work for you anymore.

There are many benefits to being authentic, as a person, as a leader, as a life partner, in whatever roles you take on, but the biggest benefit may be to the world at large. There is only one you, and being authentic to who you are allows you to share your unique strengths, viewpoint, and knowledge. No one else is better equipped to be you than you. Don’t deprive others, or yourself, of the gifts you have to share.

Editor’s Note: This op-ed article runs in tandem with the Threads of Change podcast. Though this is a joint partnership, some opinions, thoughts, and experiences shared may not reflect those of Apparelist.